For our robust anti-hero, there is only one thing larger than his oversized girth and that is his insatiable appetite for turkey. Never one to turn down a meal of any description, his passion for the feathered gobbler knows no bounds, nor with it his behavior no limits. What began as a small craving from the intimate aching depths of his lower stomach, soon slips into an all consuming compulsive obsession for the bird that he so much desires. Make no bones about it, Gary will stop at nothing, in his one man quest, to fill that expanding chasm below his chest.

Armed with a large pistol and a rasping Texas drawl, Wayne has always lived by the adage ‘biggest is best’. A technology nut, with a fat wallet and an even fatter ego, he’s managed to purchase the ultimate safe house, with 15 ft walls and a security system that would make the Pentagon blush. So no surprise then that our ex GI is crowing with confidence from the rafters of his superbunker. What is it they say about pride before a fall?

Hamish is the last of a long line of proud noble Scots, whose ancestry rode with William Wallace and whose forefathers bled with Bonnie Prince Charlie. Not one for light jokes, he whiles his days stomping the ramparts of his mighty wooden fort, droning on his bagpipes and glaring out across the barren mountain landscape through his glass eye, alas itself the result of a skirmish with his soft southern cousins.

Bo - The cutest and craftiest of the three grandchicks, at least that’s what she claims. Grandpa’s favorite, but then aren’t all granddaughters, she loves to bat those eye lids and entice another story out of the old boy long after light’s were due to go out.

 

Joe - The youngest, Joe’s greatest ambition in life is to fly, which is why he’s more often than not sporting his Grandpa’s old flying helmet and goggles. A sucker for a good yarn, like all young chicks, he delights in Grandpa’s stories and hangs off every word.

As blunt as the Berlin Wall and as charmless as a bowl of sauerkraut, Kurt has spent much of his life mastering the skills of small arms and cannon weaponry on the unlikely chance that someone or something may happen to storm his Bavarian Brick Castle one day. Prepared to the max and stuffed to the gunnels with a vast array of artillery and cannons, he does indeed have an outpost of considerable strength. Yet, as any old grandmother will tell you, preparation will only go so far,..

The eldest of the three grandchildren and most mischievous to boot. Jack delights in the disruption of his surroundings and the annoyance of his sister. Fond though he is of both his siblings and Grandpa, life is for the taking, as soon as someone will let him out of the nest.